I love this city, but feel I don't fit in. Everyone is younger, or older...richer or poorer...fatter or thinner...but mostly thinner. They all look way more hip, even in their too tight cotton skirts or too loose linen dresses. I've never seen so many bony legs in my life.
I love the busyness, I love the excitement, I love the life. I can get lost in it. A spectator. Watching. Taking it all in. But not partaking. Not living. Just watching. It's safe that way.
On my list of to-dos there are many sights. Who knows if I will ever have this chance again. I want to fit thenm ALL in. I want to see and be all that is NY...in 14 days or less. I don't want to carry the fear of those who are with me. I don't want to guard and plan(ad nasium) and pretend I don't see the life swirling around me. I don't want to speed walk past, from place to place, for fear I may pause, I may see, I may be seen.
I want to live, I want to be.
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